The house the hammer built - OT Magazine

Would it make sense to congratulate a hammer for building a house? Not likely, accolades should go to the builder, the hammer had its role, but it was just a tool in the process, the bulk of the credit goes to the doer. Why is it then that so many coaches see themselves as Richard Williams does when saying; “I’m a master-planner, no one gonna out plan me.” in explaining how he built champions in the documentary Raising Tennis Aces. Is this really the case in our sport or could it be that coaches are not actually the master-crafters that they think they are? Could it be that it is they who are the tools which the player uses rather then the other way around?

One of my greatest teaching mentors was Gary Stickler, former coach of Pat Rafter and Australian coaching legend, he once said to me; “A great player will win in spite of terrible coaching, just like a bad player will lose in spite of good coaching.” What he was telling me was that as a coach you’re a lot less important than you think and that perhaps a bit of humility could go a long way in alleviating some of the pressures that come with developing competitive tennis players. What he wasn’t saying is that you don’t matter, only that you aren’t the one driving the bus.

My grandfather taught me two things in life. 1) Women are always right, and 2) Whatever you go looking for, that’s what you’ll find. Whether it be consciously or not (most often not); tennis players (or parents for that matter) looking for a coach with the attitude that it’s the coaches job to drive the bus and sculpt the player into champions will find just that. But if a player is looking for someone as a tool to help them uncover the greatness that they already believe is within them, then they too will find what they are looking for because like attracts like and birds of a feather flock together.

Think now of some players to whom the coach sees them as an athletic specimen in which they will craft into champions? How many of these players have struggled with life off the court? Why do they look over to their coaches during a match? Why don’t they book their own flights, get rackets restrung, and arrange practice sessions for themselves, did their superior athletic gifts suck up all their intelligence and independence? And while we are asking questions; why in this day and age of evolved consciousness do parents pack and carry the bags of 11-year-olds?

It happens because it takes half the time and is twice as easy to just do it for them rather than to teach them to do it for themselves. It happens because monkeys do what monkeys see, and because what’s most prevalent on the Pro Tour filters down. It happens because it helps coaches maintain power and control and that feels safe in an unsafe world. It happens because it’s scary for anyone to fully let go of something they have put so much of themselves into, because we still don’t know how to love each other authentically. It happens because we feel if we don’t have a diploma in psychology we should just stick to the business we know, because coaches aren’t responsible for what occurs when the contract ends, because not enough coaches teach accountability and then afterwards wonder why they got fired when the player starts to lose. It happens because it keeps coaches in the spotlight and makes them feel needed.

Don’t get me wrong, I know first-hand how wonderful it is to feel needed and depended upon. I know how it can become like a drug pulling at you everyday without you even knowing it. But coaches have to know how much these actions imprison a player, how much it handicaps the person later in life. Coaches have to know that you are taking from them precisely what it is you think you are giving. Its not genuine love; it hurts them in ways you can’t imagine. It creates holes in the person that even Grand Slam trophies and millions of dollars can’t fill.

Old paradigms are falling every day and you need look no further than the world’s #1 player to find an example of someone who has cultivated the character of the athlete without fostering dependency yet still attaining success. Uncle Tony doesn’t book Rafa’s practice sessions, he doesn’t bring rackets to the stringers for him, he humbly views himself as a tool that Rafa, although certainly grateful for, has used to fulfill his prophecy in life. The reason why so many great players have had such struggles off the court is because unlike Uncle Tony, their coaches never saw the big picture; they only saw the tennis and it never occurred to them that tennis could also be a vehicle to teach the player to be a better person.

The player uses the coach not too dissimilarly as they use a racket, pair of shoes, or set of strings. The coach is a tool that the player will wield in an effort toward achieving what it is they have decided they want to achieve. Their choices are important but ultimately it’s the player that does the hard work. A good coach will help the player understand this. Otherwise the player won’t own their defeats or their victories; they won’t learn how to build self-esteem, and independence and if they don’t see themselves as the master-builder of their own life they won’t know how to fix things when they inevitably break down. So if you’re in the process of finding the right coach for you ask them the simplest of questions; why do you do what you do. Because the why determines the how which reveals their philosophy. Once you know their philosophy you can find out if it matches your own just as long as you too have asked that same simple question to yourself.